Running From Destiny Read online

  I’ve never had the honor of watching such a proud man beg, but that is what he is doing. He’s on his knees by the sofa, his fists clenched tightly together. His green eyes are.....wait, are those tears? Fuck. He’s gonna fucking cry!? Now what do I do?

  “Jackson.” I say as I walk back toward him, my voice calming some. “You have to understand why I am so angry. I fought you and fought you and you kept pushing. You knew I was uncomfortable with this...this, whatever it is, yet you persisted and you withheld information. I can’t trust you and I don’t involve myself with anyone I don’t trust, especially a man. I have trust issues anyway and here you go making a mockery of that.”

  “No, that’s not what this is. Please sit down and let me explain. Then, if you still want to end this, I will take you and Heather home and you will never hear from me again. Please?”

  He looks so vulnerable. And as I have said before, I am weak. So I sit down and wait for him to begin.

  “My parents and Madison’s parents “arranged” for us to be married when we were children. I know, that’s old fashioned, but it was what they did. Madison and I have known each other since then, grew up together. She was my best friend for many years and we got engaged when we were in college, just like our parents wanted.” He pauses before continuing, I can tell that this is difficult for him, so I just sit quietly.

  “Once I received my undergrad and headed to law school, Madison got a modeling contract with Elle Magazine. She was young and naive, but she was so excited and I promised I would support her while she followed her dreams. But she developed bulimia and started making herself sick every time she ate. She refused to put on any weight and risk her modeling career so I confronted her, as did her parents and her agent. She went through rehab and got better, but then she fell in with the wrong crowd and started doing drugs.”

  “She started smoking pot, which was innocent enough at first. But she started gaining weight and moved on to cocaine. When the weight she had gained didn’t fall off easily, she started purging again. This time she refused treatment. Swore she had it under control. I was away at Yale and she was back in New York, so I couldn’t help much and her parents wrote her off. Disowned her, so to speak. She’s been in and out of different rehab facilities since then. In fact, she had just gotten out right before she was arrested.”

  “When did you break off the engagement?” I asked him.

  “Years ago, but she never got over it and I felt responsible for her relapse, because she never recovered. That is why I had to go to New York. Now she’s facing a prison sentence and she will never survive it. Her parents stepped back in and put her in a secured facility, and she’s under suicide watch. I have to go back to New York tomorrow to meet with the prosecuting attorney and the judge on Monday.”

  I take a deep breath before speaking. I want to make sure what I say makes sense and that I’m not just talking out of my head.

  “Look, I’m sorry for what both of you are going through. Bulimia is serious business as is the drug use and I understand why you have to help her. But, you were already pursuing me before all of this happened. That’s a big problem, considering the press is still calling you her fiancé. If the press finds out you have been going behind her back with me, well… That could generate problems for both of us. I can’t take that chance. Neither should you. This has to end. Now, please take us home.”

  “Ally, I wasn’t going behind her back. I broke it off long before you came along, but we never notified the press for fear of it causing trouble in her career. Stupid, I know. But it’s the truth.”

  “How can the press not know? Have you been seen with her recently? Those vultures have ways of finding things out, Jackson. I find it hard to believe you can keep something like that a secret.”

  “When Madison went into rehab, she fell off of their radar and so did I, so making a formal announcement was no longer necessary. I thought and prayed she’d get the help she needed and no one would even remember we were together once.”

  I sit there quietly, absorbing all he has said, but it’s just not sinking in. I brush away a tear and his face softens. “I can’t do this right now, I need to go home.”

  I stand up and march off to the room where Heather is sleeping and open the door. She’s sitting up in the bed, looking very drunk and very confused.

  “Where am I?” She slurred.

  “Jackson’s condo, but we’re leaving. Get up and put your shoes on so his car can take us home. You can crash at my place.”

  “What happened?” She asks.

  “I’ll tell you when we get home. All I can say right now is that it’s over. Now, hurry up, I’m ready to get out of here. I refuse to cry in front of him and I am not sure how much longer I can hold it in.”

  She rolls out of bed, stumbling over her own feet and I reach out and grab her arm, holding her up with one hand her shoes in the other hand, and we make our way back out into the great room.

  As I open the door to leave, Jackson is behind me. There is pain in his eyes, but understanding too. How could he be so affected by me after such a short time and how can I be so affected by him? I shake my head and he leans in for a soft kiss. I’m too weak and upset to fight him, so I allow his lips to softly brush over mine. “This isn’t over, Alexandra.”

  “Yes, it is.” And I make a quick escape, holding on to Heather so she doesn’t fall.

  “If you throw up on me I’ll kill you.” I say to her as we enter the lobby the limo is waiting at the curb and we get in the car. “You may want to give us a trash can in case she can’t hold it in.” I tell the driver, who hands me some plastic bags. “These will do.”

  I sit back and Heather lays her head in my lap. I keep the bags handy in case she gets sick, but she is sound asleep for now. I close the privacy screen and as soon as I do, the tears start flowing. My eyes burn and my nose starts running and I break down into a full sob. I’ve never cried like this before. Well, maybe once when my grandma died, but this was different.

  This time my heart was bleeding. I was part upset over the fact that it was over, but mostly angry that he had put me in this situation to begin with. He was engaged to her, he shouldn’t be going after other women if people still believe he is, especially ones that make it obvious they aren’t interested to begin with. I’m angry at Heather for not having my back either. But.... I like him. Strange as that may sound, I do. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted in a boyfriend......well, a book boyfriend anyway. I never thought I would have my very own, and the way things are going, I never will again.

  My shoulders heave and snot is flowing freely as I search for a tissue. I find a small package of tissues in the mini bar and blow my nose, waking Heather up. She lifts her head and looks at me. “What’s wrong?” She asks, trying to sit up, but the rocking of the car has her swaying side to side. I lean into her and let the tears go, I'm sobbing so hard that I can’t breathe and I start having the panic attack I fought off earlier.

  I’m heaving and wheezing and I can’t stop the tears and Heather starts freaking out. Apparently her best friend having a panic attack is a quick way to sober her up. “Shhhh, breathe Al. Breathe.” She whispers as she rubs my back. I’m thankful that I thought to close the privacy screen before I broke down, because the driver would surely run and tell Jackson what’s happening and he'd be at my front door within moments.

  I start wondering if he can hear me, even though he can’t see me. That is all it took to calm me down. I don’t want any more contact with Jackson, so I do my best to settle my nerves. I tell Heather the story of what happened between me and Jackson, after he threw her over his shoulder and hauled her out of the bar. She vaguely remembered, but that was where her memory cut off.

  “Oh Ally, I’m so sorry. But maybe this is for the best for both of you. He won’t have to worry about you while he’s cleaning up Madison’s mess. He can focus on her and getting her better. He did say it wasn’t over right? Maybe he will come back for you once thi
s all dies down.”

  “I don’t know” I snub. “I’m not sure I want him too. He’s too much for me, I can’t handle it. I need to just find a nice, normal guy who will love me for who I am.”

  “You don’t think Jackson likes you for who you are? Of course he does, that’s why he keeps coming back, sweetie. He’s smitten with you, and maybe that scares him. I know it’s scaring you.” Heather tries to console me, but it isn’t working.

  “I didn’t ask for this. I got swept up in him, and now I’m drowning. I can’t breathe.” I suck in a gulp of hair, coughing like a twenty year smoker.

  Heather pats my back. “We’re home. Let’s get you inside and in the tub with a glass of wine. That should help. Then you can think about all this tomorrow.

  “No, I just want to go to bed. I’m exhausted, and I can’t think about it anymore. It’s over and I have to move on. Thinking about it gives me a headache.”

  We walk in and I go straight for the ibuprofen and then to my room. Heather sheds her dress as she flops onto my sofa, pulling the throw blanket from the back on to her, and she is immediately asleep. I chuckle, because I doubt she will remember a thing about tonight. She’ll wake up wondering how she got here; I doubt she will even remember Doug. I hope she doesn’t remember my break down in the car either, because a sober conversation with her will be much worse than the drunk one we had in the limo.

  I throw on an oversized tee shirt, brush my teeth and wash my face. As I crawl into the bed I hear my phone chirp from the other room. I throw the covers back off and go dig in my purse for it.

  J - Sleep well. Talk soon. Xoxo

  “Huh?” I say out loud to myself. But I don’t respond to the message. I have nothing more to say to him. He needs to get his shit together and leave me out of his problems.

  I curl up under the covers, but sleep does not come easy. I toss and turn, waking up several times in a pool of sweat. I know I’ve been dreaming, but I don’t remember the dreams, I just know they are preventing me from rest. I would go out in the living room and watch TV, but Heather is sleeping on the sofa and I don’t want to disturb her. I get out of bed and head down the hall grabbing my briefcase, I slide my laptop out. Might as well see what other information I can find out on Jackson, just to convince myself that I’m doing the right thing by calling it off.

  I re-read the Wikipedia article on him and nothing has changed except the arrest of Madison Stone has now been included. I go to the images and there are photos of him on the red carpet, at promotional events and some just on the street, walking. He’s with Madison in some, others he is with a group of people or by himself. I never see him with any other woman. Maybe he is telling the truth.

  I continue to scan the search results when I see a breaking news headline pop up on TMZ.

  Madison Stone found dead in rehab facility of apparent drug overdose. Details to come.

  Holy Shit! Does Jackson know? He sent me that text earlier, but I never responded. Surely he’s on his way back to New York by now. I debate sending him a text, but I stop myself. No. He needs to handle this on his own. I can’t get involved. And what could I do anyway, but make things more confusing for him.

  I keep looking for more information, but find nothing. I guess I’ll have to wait until more is available. I add the page to my links in hopes that updates will be easier to find and close my lap top. She overdosed? Oh my God, Jackson has to be torn apart. I know he said they weren’t together anymore, but he still planned to marry her at some point, so he has to be hurting. I suddenly feel the need to reach out to him, but unsure if I should.

  I stroll out to the living room and Heather is still asleep. I refuse to wake her, cause she’s grumpy when she doesn’t get enough sleep and I need her fresh and happy before I tell her about this. I make coffee and wait for the pot to brew, sitting at the kitchen table lost in thought when Heather comes in. “Do I smell coffee?” She asks, sleepily. “It’s brewing now. How ya feeling?”

  “Ummm, not sure yet. Where’s the aspirin?” She asks and I point to the cabinet by the refrigerator. She pops two pills and sits down, her hands in her face.

  “Damn girl, you look rough.” I smile at her. I feel fine, thankfully. But I really need her to wake up so I can talk. I have no one else to discuss this with, so I wait patiently while she wakes up and shakes off the hangover.

  “What in the hell happened last night? She finally asks.

  “You don’t remember anything?”

  “Shit, no. Why do I feel like I’ve been hit by a bus? Did I really drink that much?” She asks.

  “Yep, you kept doing shots with Doug and then sucking face with him.” I smile at her.

  “Who? Oh wait, yeah. I think I remember. Damn he was hot. Did Me....” She drifts off.

  “No, we left before it got to that point, though you weren’t happy about it.”

  “Tell me.”

  I go over everything from the moment Jackson tossed her over his shoulder. I had told her this in the limo, but she apparently didn’t remember. I tell her Jackson and I talked and that I told him I knew everything before I dropped the bomb.

  “What? She’s dead? When did this happen?” She asks. I grabbed my laptop and showed her the article. “Oh Al, TMZ is full of shit. Not everything you read online is true. Let’s wait and see if it makes the news before jumping to conclusions.” She says as she walks to the TV to turn it on.

  After scrolling the channels for a few minutes, she stops and her jaw drops. “Al, it’s true. Look!” She points at the TV. Jackson and what may be her family are leaving the hospital, covering their heads to avoid being seen. I can tell its Jackson by the movement of his body.

  “You are looking at Madison Stone’s former fiancé and attorney, Jackson Bentley and Miss Stone’s family as they leave the Iron Hope Center after learning that Miss Stone had passed away due to an apparent drug overdose. Miss Stone was admitted last month after being arrested for possession of methamphetamine at a party in Brooklyn. She was indicted last week and was awaiting arraignment.

  “Fuck! That’s horrible! How did she get drugs in a rehab facility anyway?” Heather says to the television. I sit in silence staring at the TV, my tongue has stopped working and I don’t know what to say or what do.

  “Do I call Jackson and express my sympathy or do I wait...or do nothing?”Then I realize the reporter saidformerfiance. He told them, getting probably an ugly pain off of his shoulders. Did he do that for me or for himself?

  Shaking her head, “Nothing at this point. He’s got enough going on right now. If she died in a rehab facility, there is going to be an investigation as to how she got the drugs. If he’s acting as her attorney, he’s going to be busy. Let it go. As much as I hate to say it, but that’s what you need to do. I’m sorry I pushed you two together anyway. He just seemed so into you, but I should have done my research before forcing the issue. I’m sorry, Al.”

  “Its okay, H. He was....is, an enigma. I tried to stay away, but he pulled me in with his laser beam and I was frozen. Chalk it up to experience and move on huh?” But I wondered if I could. No man had ever made me feel like a queen before. He knew exactly where and how to touch me so that I flew apart in his arms. I’ve never experienced that before, I doubt I ever will again.

  “We’ll find you someone new, Al.”

  “No. You. Won’t. Heather. If I choose to date, I will do the choosing. Do not try to fix me up again. This was enough to turn me off for a while anyway, I’m just going to focus on work and getting that promotion. Maybe I’ll go back to school too. I can find plenty of things to keep my mind off of everything. It’s all good.”

  But inside I wasn’t sure. I should have been an actress, because I can fake it with the best of them. I can even cry on a dime if I need to, though I try not to do that. I really wanted Jackson, but I knew he was bad news when we met, I just couldn’t stay away. I could push and run, but he always came back. Will he come back this time? I somehow doubt it because this
will be too much for him. He didn’t tell me about her for a reason; I don’t know what that reason is, and I will probably never know.

  Heather headed back to her apartment and I shower and flop on the sofa. I planned to do nothing today, but found myself on the computer searching for more information. I’m obsessed, I know, and that isn’t good. I need to figure out a way to get him off my mind. I’ve picked up my cell so many times to call him, but I refrain. It has to be this way, whether I like it or not.

  Heather comes back over and we continue to do nothing, which is the best way to spend a Sunday afternoon. Tim calls to go over the final details of Jackson’s build-out. I tell him I need to talk to him on Monday about that and we agreed to meet as soon as I get into the office

  Monday, after I place my purse in my desk I head straight to Tim’s office, forgoing my coffee. He is on the phone, but he waves me in. Thankfully I have no idea what he was talking about or who is on the other line, so eavesdropping isn’t an issue. He lays the phone in the cradle, “Good morning, Ally. How was your weekend?” He asks, suddenly chipper for a Monday morning. “Interesting, but thankfully over.” I smile back at him.

  “What did you want to talk about?” He asks.

  I take a deep breath and begin. “I think you need to pull me off of the Bentley project. I can’t go into the reasons why, let’s just say it’s personal and I’ve let the personal mix with business and I can’t do that anymore. With the project almost completed, I’m sure you and Valerie can finish up without me.” There. I said it. It isn’t easy because I’ve worked hard on this project, but I need Tim to know that my first priority is work.

  “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m glad to hear it.” He looks me dead in the eyes. “Look Ally, I know there has been something going on between you and Jackson Bentley, but I’ve tried to look the other way and let it go. But, I have to agree that maybe putting you on another project is a good idea. I admire you for coming to me and admitting that things were getting a little out of control with you two. That shows your honesty and integrity. Bravo to you for stepping up.”